Like any student, I am not perfect. There are days I would rather have fun than study, sleep than read, and daydream than to focus. I’ve always been struggling to prioritize my needs over wants; this was the worst mistake I did in my university life.
Easy said than done, getting over my past is not easy as everyone can say. I feel haunted by simple mistakes affecting my present, even my future. It is regretful to look at the hands of the clock ticking before you, as people who used to be with you are moving forward yet the gravity is holding against you, preventing you from taking a step forward. That gravity is haunting me.
I’ve forgiven myself; I try to rationalize each situation and look at the brighter side. Read mottos, quotes, books that could empathize with my sorrows, fears, and worries. I would like to say it worked; it is an escape goat, but at the end of the day, I still can’t move.
As I write each word, I haven’t figured anything, but I know all I can do now is face my past, accept the present and try not to fall the same way like I did. Take experiences as a challenge, a learning lesson to grow. Nevertheless, growing and learning are two of inevitable things in life we could never control. Appreciate the ticking of time, make the most out of it, “I am aware of you now than before.” Let go, set free the mistakes of the past, and savor its pain.
Because there is no such thing as comfortable in life; sometimes the hardest experience makes each achievements rewarding. Accept the pain; it may haunt you but so what? It is okay, not to be okay. You’re a human; you need that because then again you are not perfect. Jump and fall, but always stand, we can do it.