There’s this guy who’s keep on bugging me these days. I just can’t sleep because of thinking of him, I eat too much because of I am stressed because of him. But let me remind, whoever reads this! This is my blog and if this is what I feel, I am asking you to bear with me. My blog is just like a diary where as much as possible I would like to write everything I feel without any pressure or hesitation.

As what I was saying, this guy bothers me so much! And I hate it, how he made me feel this way. I thought I’ll be having this feeling for only 2 months but as what I am seeing, this feeling is already beyond its limits.

I have loved only one guy since childhood. I may have a relationship to others, but I still make assure that my heart and mind is still for that childhood love I had. Well that childhood love and I didn’t have any relationship beyond friendship and I am glad it won’t go any further coz what relationship we have is enough because it’s in that relationship we will stay stronger and longer. (Check the article next to this to view our story.)

So, all along this guy came to my life, UNEXPECTEDLY. Yeah! I actually hated him before, but I must admit that I liked him also, when I FIRST SAW HIM.

When I first saw him, I didn’t know why I like him? He’s small and pudgy. But he have those small eyes and he got the height I’ve always been liking to any guy I had a crush onto. Then when I approached this guy, he was so snobbish who thinks highly of himself. He irritated me after that event! I was actually cursing him because he just stepped into my dignity.

But I learned to understand he’s attitude … It’s because he’s a Chinese that’s why he was like that. He is really frank and talkative. I might hate it first, but I learned to like those characteristics of him as I learn to like him as well. YEAH! I LIKE HIM and I first like his negative attitude and attributes than his positives.

So, how am I going to catch his attention? I used my childhood and also first love’s ever mighty attitude – BULLY/bullying! Yeah? I bully that frank Chinese boy! But not in the mean sense, my best friend and I teased him to the girl he hated most in the class. Oh dear, if you could only see how HAPPY and SINCERE I was in teasing him. JJ J I hope those emoticons are enough for you to imagine my face? He’s really affected with our childish teases like he’s about to explode as he controls his feelings of anger to us. J J Well, I am actually sincere to him when I was teasing him, back that time. For some reasons, I enjoy it too.

Then this bestfriend of mine, was actually a real bully. I don’t know what happened but she captured a picture of mine and this Chinese frank small guy while we were playing something. She uploaded it in facebook and my friends, commented and talk about him. Being a Chinese, he viewed that thingy in such a different way, he said that was a foul thing and commented “By proliferating, … the more reasons for you not to alleviate in this intellectual world. For stupid ones talk about others and intellectual ones talk about ideas. Thank You”.

So he pretended he was mad the next day. Of course I was affected! No matter how I bullied him and even I was not the one who uploaded that thingy on Facebook, he’s still my crush and I was really concerned to him. (If concern is the best adjective to use)

So how my feelings for him grow larger? When he told me to “act like a girl”. In an instant, I understand why Goo Jun Pyo liked Jandi? And I also had a Goosebumps! Because there’s only one guy who can tell me those words, my first and childhood love. But, after hearing those words and that phrase came from his mouth, it stricken my mind as well as my heart. It’s like cupid just hit me with an arrow?


So it looks like this, in an instant… I love SATURDAYS! Why? Because he’s at my back in our sitting arrangement, and I love the time whenever we are talking. When he talks to me, words cannot come properly from my mouth. My heart beats faster whenever I saw him walking towards me. I just cannot concentrate in reviewing my notes because my mind is too full of his NAME.  I drink too much water when he’s near me coz I can’t control my heart beating too much like I am running. My favorite subject is not Math or English it has become HIM. I always look forward to each day we have a class coz I know I will get to see him.

I thought that it will stop from there, and as summer will come I will be able to forget him coz I will be seeing my first and childhood love. But it turns out to be opposite, I missed him even more. I am acting like I desperately want to see him or if not know how’s him. I am not fond of using Facebook because I am more of a Twitter user, but I often go online just to see how is he going. Checking up his wall 5 times a day, that if he ever tries to use a Facebook application to see his wall’s visitors, I ASSURE YOU, I would be his top 1 on his list. I constantly check my online friends that I am not doing before just to see if his online and if I saw him online, I would make noise in the Twitter and Facebook world talking about anything wishing he would read it and put a comment.

Yeah. I need a rehab who can make me forget him. I swear, I need it. Just now, while doing this blog… I saw him online and all the words I must write here, I SUUDENLY FORGOT EVERYTHING.

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