7 FACES OF UNREQUITED FIRST LOVE

You’re the one, who keeps me continuously wishing to the stars. The last time I remember looking at them was the last time I realized; we could never be. The stars are the only thing I could hold on to when everything that I’ve been holding has failed me. Like you, the stars seem so far- unable to hear my heart skipping its beat, unable to listen to the voice coming from my mouth when I try to sing about you, unable to see how I struggle not to be loved back.

You’re the one who always bothers me at night. You never fail to remind my brain, what my heart remembers. Even in my dreams, it is only you who can make me laugh and cry at the same time. Even in my dreams, all I could pray was you. Even in my dreams, I have you as my dream. Even in dreams, I never had a chance to escape the reality.

You’re the one I would never want to forget. Tell me how? I doubt I can. How could I forget someone I have loved as a child. I swear we could even beat the best romance movie in the world if only this love is not unrequited love. How could I forget you, when you’ve been a part of everything I am. I grow old, having you… tell me how to forget you when I still love you?

You’re the one I’m thankful I am still friends with. If there’s only one good thing about unrequited love, it is the ability to stay beside you as a friend. You may not love me romantically, but I know you see me as a friend. At least, I get to have a little space in you, something that any lovers could not have when things go wrong. Being friends with you makes it easier to bear the weight of unreciprocated love.

You’re the one that taught me how it is like to love unconditionally. If I hadn’t loved you, I wouldn’t know what it feels like to love without expectations. If not because of you, I would not understand what it is like to be happy seeing the one you love happy with some else. If not because of you, I would never understand what it is like to love myself, because after I have loved you, I never wanted to feel any pain in love. Through all these years, it is enough to have been hurt by only you.

You’re the one I call my first love. I have to give you that role in my life. Somehow, that position made all the pain and happiness about you and me bearable. Once in my life, my heart flutters for you and suddenly all the lessons about love came with it.

You are my first love, my painful love, however never will I regret this love I have for you. It made me appreciate simple things in life- to love you and to love myself better. That is why I want this to be my last letter for you because I want to love again. I want to set free my feelings for you; I want to set you free, and more importantly, I want to free myself and meet someone who could love me as much as I loved you. The one who could see the happiness and pain I learned from loving you; the one who I could love, more than I loved you.

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